How to Calm an Angry Person in 90 Seconds or Less

Discover how to successfully and efficiently calm an angry person or diffuse a volatile situation in ninety seconds or less with this proven and accessible peacekeeping method by self-described “lawyer turned peacemaker” Douglas E. Noll.

We live in an increasingly divided world and most of us have encountered our fair share of aggressive people and difficult confrontations. Fortunately, we now have the tools to become peacemakers and transform emotionally volatile situations and hurt feelings to calm, non-aggressive ones.

Tested on prison inmates, De-Escalate offers a new set of social listening and communication skills, based on the latest findings in neuroscience and meditation. Along with practical exercises and scenario-based examples, each chapter focuses on specific themes, such as dealing with emotionally charged teenagers and frustrated coworkers. Additionally, Noll shares practical tips on how to be civil in an uncivil society.

With De-Escalate, we can bring peace to all facets of life, cultivate healthier relationships, and participate in creating a more caring and compassionate future for us all.

When I came across this I jumped at the chance to read it. My husband has been wrestling with anger issues for years and I come from a family who takes anger issues to a therapy inducing level so I very much wanted to learn ways to help de-escalate incidents rather than increase the tension.

Noll, someone who has worked in the legal field, comes with lots of experience and a long resume to back up his ability to put a book like this out and be taken seriously.

The only way you’re going to truly know if his techniques work is to try them on an angry person. I don’t recommend purposely making someone angry but look at it as being certified for CPR – you hope you never have to use it but it’s a good skill to have should the need present itself.

As a parent of children on the autism spectrum I also found his techniques beneficial to calming them down as well. Sometimes when my youngest in particular is in a full meltdown it can be difficult to soothe her so she doesn’t harm herself or anyone around her. The basic principles worked on her too and helped me learn some new parenting tricks. Often when she’d have a meltdown it’s not because she’s really angry about Netflix not working but because she’s tired, overstimulated and wants to pull away from the world. Whereas before I’d get frustrated she’s getting upset over the internet having a hiccup thanks to this book I started paying more attention to the emotions instead of the words which have allowed me to find ways to help her that work for us both.

Some of what he uses such as using direct statements that being with “You” are basic communicative psychological principles you would normally learn in marriage therapy or an Everybody Loves Raymond episode but all joking aside I can tell you they work.

This is a MUST have book for any parent, teacher, person in a relationship, etc because it will teach you some valuable skills to better the world around you. With the exponential rise in anger around us what could it possibly hurt to try?

Thank you to Netgalley and Beyond Words Publishing for allowing me to review this book.

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*synopsis and pic from

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