Pursue the Marriage You’ve Always Desired
You have an incredible amount of influence in your husband’s life! He needs things only you can supply (not just sex)—and some simple choices on your part can bring about big changes in your husband’s heart.
Discover how you can…
build his self-esteem by giving him affirmation he won’t receive from his friends
encourage him to grow by noticing what he does right—not what he does wrong
help him bounce back from mistakes by providing the space and support he needs
create a cycle of care for one another, rather than a list of obligations
forge a bond through which he hears and values your messages
As you learn how to show your husband love in everyday ways, you’ll make room in your marriage for deeper connection and lasting satisfaction. The joy you used to dream of finding someday can be yours today as you invest in a fulfilling marriage!
In a time of high divorce rates, when more people are choosing to live together without getting married and there is a marked increase in female empowerment having a book that is directed at women to tell them how to give their husband’s a better life is certainly an interesting choice. It’s written for Christians and the author is very open about her biblical beliefs so the content makes sense when you consider wives taking care of their husbands is a huge tenet in that belief system.
The author establishes her creds right away showing she’s been married over 20 years, certainly a milestone at a time of marriages (if they even exist) lasting 5 years or less – thank the Kardashians for inspiring that trend; just kidding.
She includes prayers for the wife to pray for herself, prayers for her to pray over husband, questions for you to reflect on, anecdotes from real people’s lives to illustrate her points, scripture, research, statistics, quotes from well known speakers such as John Eldredge and challenges so you get homework to help put into practice the lessons she imparts. In many ways this reminded me of The Love Dare as it had very similar elements.
If you strip away the Christian elements from the book the advice she gives, at its most basic, feels sound and logical. You can’t expect to have a healthy marriage if you aren’t healthy yourself so her chapter on that feels like a good opening. Being kind to your spouse seems like a no brainer but in today’s “ME” first world building up others, even if it’s your spouse, takes a back seat. Understanding there are differences in more than just likes and dislikes and accepting those rather than trying to conform this person into a clone of you shouldn’t feel shocking yet many need this reminder.
I will have to say I was impressed with the fact that she talked about sex, orgasms, talking about what feels good with your spouse, etc because so often that feels like the “hush don’t talk about it” part Christians want to avoid. I’ve even heard pastors talk about how ‘allegedly’ they kneel down and pray with their spouses before sex because you are supposed to invite God into the act as it’s something holy. I guess I’m the weird one who doesn’t want to think making it sound like I’m about to have a threesome with God is a good thing or be reminded “he’s watching”; not to mention the idea of kneeling and praying beforehand is a sure fire way to kill the spontaneity. It just feels like the way she broached the subject and the type of details she went into actually are realistic and the advice she gave easily doable.
I’m an Irish-Catholic who is married to an agnostic and I have friends that stretch across the spectrum from Catholic to Protestant to Agnostic to Atheist. When reading stuff like this I always ask myself which audience is not only going to benefit from it but also not get their back up about it. It’s definitely written for a Protestant audience but there’s not enough differences that Catholics should feel iced out although I would recommend looking up the people she mentions just so you have an idea of who they are such as Lisa Bevere; that would give you a better understanding as to their importance and context of influence. For your non-Christian friend it just depends on where they are. I have some that don’t mind reading self-help books like this because they can sort out what will help from what they have no interest in. If there is someone you think can benefit from a marriage pick me up but they would be antagonistic towards a book woven with prayers, scripture and talks of God then I’d suggest taking notes and just editing out those parts then pass the info on because there are valuable insights.
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